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I hate when I get inspired it's never because of anything good and usually its heartache. So I fall in love after thinking I could never do it again. This time she actually cares so it hurts so much more. She cares just enough to what to see me in a better mood but not enough to return the feeling I have. Trying to get me to talk about how I feel but I can't say anything just draw them. Sketchbook after sketchbook filled with feeling and emotions only I see and understand but still I can't describe them to anyone who tries's to help me through tough times. Sometime I wish my drawing could talk because they already have more to say about me than I ever do. I don't know why I constantly shut everyone out when I feel like shit then turn it in on myself. When my feeling finally come out it's usually in frustrated punch to a wall or a drawing I hate to look at.
What being unlucky means.
I am not a superstitious person. I'm not religious I don't believe in magic or any of the things that people sometimes attribute to luck. However, I do feel like there are things that are out of our control. Things that can sometimes make a big difference to succeeding or failing. Over my lifetime I’ve always felt like I was on the bad or unlucky side of influences outside of my control. To put it bluntly, I'm unlucky.
I don't want to go into specific details about how in X situation I was so unlucky because this and that all happened to me in my life. Instead, I want to look at what being unlucky has come to mean in my life now and go
Four elements of love
Four “elements” for lack of a better term. What the fuck am I talking about? Falling in love is very complex in my observation. In my opinion there are two types of love that people experience. The first is a very basic animal instinct reaction to someone else. Many people consider this simple attraction love, but to me there is so much more to love so to identify them differently from here on I’ll be referring to what I feel is love by calling it “true love”. This is just some theories about relationships that I've thought about for a long time. I developed these theories over many years of looking at my own an
Information, Conversations and the time I tried to
When I was in high school I did a lot of stupid things, but I feel like what I did when I was in 10th grade may have been the dumbest thing I ever did. Especially seeing how it's affected my life since then. So what did I do? I tried legitimately to learn everything I could about the Universe. Luckily for me the idea that I could become the most intelligent person in the world only lasted about an hour and a half. I blame 1997-1998 internet for that have you ever tried to use Yahoos internet directory for find things online no of course not because there are Search Engines now. God to think there are some people who will never know what an i
Move on? Where to now
For the past 2 1/2 years I've been playing World of Warcraft. I've played as a healer and for the majority of that time I was able to participate in some of the hardest and most challenging content of the game in 25 man heroic raiding. Those days have come to an end. I quit the game this week. I'd been thinking of quitting for a few months but didn't because though I knew that it was taking up almost 90% of my free time. Time that I should have been using to update my portfolio, look for better work, learn to fucking spell, To do the one thing that I've loved more than anything in the world MY ART!!! I didn't quit to do any of those things be
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